As another year threatens to pass by, leaving a trail of monotonous and not-so-special days behind, there is the unavoidable realization that I am getting closer to adding yet another year to my age. I can't help but ask the same question I have asked for the past couple of years: "What does 'getting older' mean?". I hope I'm not the only one asking this question, but nevertheless here are some ramblings as usual.
Does getting old mean looking back at things you thought you would do and realizing how many compromises you made when you didn't mean to? Does getting old mean weighing your accomplishments against things you have invariably failed to achieve? Does it mean that you think about the choices you made and the ones you didn't make and wonder if things were done differently would life turn out to be different and, if so, would it be for better or for worse?
I used to tell myself that the key to being successful is to be always be discontent, always striving to get more, get further ahead. But the problem with this philosophy is that you always have to go through times when all hope seems to be lost, when you doubt your decisions. During such times, it feels that the discontent of earlier years weighs down on you and it only grows as time passes. Because the way it works is that, one is not satisfied with what one has, tries to achieve a lofty goal, unavoidably fails one or more times, makes a compromise and moves on. But the further ahead you move, the more you are aware of this compromises you made and they come back to haunt you.
So what does one do in such a situation? Do you give up on the promises you made yourself and let the weight of the past carry you through the motions of life? Or do you ignore the compromises you had to make and the ones that you'll invariably have to make and keep fighting? If its the latter, where do you get the inspiration from? ...
Does getting old mean looking back at things you thought you would do and realizing how many compromises you made when you didn't mean to? Does getting old mean weighing your accomplishments against things you have invariably failed to achieve? Does it mean that you think about the choices you made and the ones you didn't make and wonder if things were done differently would life turn out to be different and, if so, would it be for better or for worse?
I used to tell myself that the key to being successful is to be always be discontent, always striving to get more, get further ahead. But the problem with this philosophy is that you always have to go through times when all hope seems to be lost, when you doubt your decisions. During such times, it feels that the discontent of earlier years weighs down on you and it only grows as time passes. Because the way it works is that, one is not satisfied with what one has, tries to achieve a lofty goal, unavoidably fails one or more times, makes a compromise and moves on. But the further ahead you move, the more you are aware of this compromises you made and they come back to haunt you.
So what does one do in such a situation? Do you give up on the promises you made yourself and let the weight of the past carry you through the motions of life? Or do you ignore the compromises you had to make and the ones that you'll invariably have to make and keep fighting? If its the latter, where do you get the inspiration from? ...
